Fear

Fear has two faces. One side of it is; that everybody needs, without it, humankind might not have survived. As it was very difficult in the Stone Age and early ages to survive without running away from dangers, so, that kind of fear saved humankind.

The other side of the fear is not good, which stops us from growing. And that side of the fear is our topic of the day. All most all of us have fears.

In our childhood, we were always fearless. We were not afraid of exploring new things. We had excitement; we inquired and cleared all our doubts even with strangers. But, when we were growing, we were taught to be afraid of people, parents, bosses and other unknown things.

We followed their instructions, learned and adapted. Now, we want to unlearn this unhealthy trait and become our true-selves. Learning is a lot easier rather than unlearning, as it requires mental effort to overcome habits. Nevertheless, we recognized that we need to change. Good, this is the right time to learn how we can become that true-selves again.

Somebody came up with False Evidence Appear in Real as abbreviation for FEAR. Is it false evidence that you are seeing in your mind’s eye as something real? Or it is plain unknown uncomfortable feeling that is stopping you from doing whatever you wanted to do?

How I understood and conquer most of the fear is to think it as Fault Exists And React. I feel that I am some what inferior (means Fault Exists in me) And I React the way I reacted in response to that feeling. Or there Fault Exists; And React to counter that fault. Some people overcome this fear by themselves. Some people need assistance and techniques to overcome it.

The best medicine to reduce or get rid of fear is to do whatever makes you fear or uncomfortable. This is not always easy to do as there going to be so many mental hurdles. Like, sky diving, riding roller coasters or proposing new relationships. For some people, it might be attending interviews for jobs or facing exams etc. Without really going thru some of these situations, no matter how much mental practice you do, it is difficult to overcome this kind of fear.

So, how can we break this barrier? You start with simple things. You get confidence whenever you do uncomfortable things; even the smaller ones. That confidence grows every time you perform (no matter whether you are successful at it or a total failure). Then, automatically, excitement replaces fear in due course. So, in the past when you were feeling fear for performing new things, now, you have excitement and will be waiting to do things.

Some brief examples on how you can overcome certain fears. If you have a problem to stand up in front of an audience, or to conduct meetings or to express yourself in front of a group of people, you can do this to overcome it. Take a topic that you want to present or talk in front of the audience. Prepare yourself with necessary content. In fact, any topic will do. All that matters is that you do the next step.
Take a webcam or a camcorder, get ready physically, mentally and start recording, and just imagine yourself standing before the group and deliver. You play and observe your body language, the feelings in your face etc. Prepare yourself again. Take your time; wait for a day or two. And do this practice session again. If you practice in this method for couple of times or so, your fear automatically dissolves. You will be relaxed when you see the camera recording.

You will talk and move freely. You feel like you are doing this kind of work for so long. It becomes easier and while you are talking in front of the camera, you will get new ideas.

Once you get little confidence, stop this method, invite your family friends whom you trust most, and deliver the content you practiced using the webcam. It is important that you take the same topic as you already did practice on that subject. Your fluency will improve, and interaction with audience improves a lot.

In fact, this is what I did to get rid of my fears. I always felt that there is a fault in me and I need to counter it by avoiding it completely or do some rubbish thing, this was my reaction. Then, I came up with this idea and it delivered.

Of course, there are multiple ways to solve any given problem. It is very important that you select the best possible solution, which resonates with you. If you cannot get an idea or a suggestion from any body, then, I suggest you to put in the effort to come up with new ideas and approach to help yourself. The new ideas you are coming up will always resonate with you, so, they work for you. Invest time in yourself to improve from day to day; even smaller changes will make big difference in one year. This is critical for your success and makes it easier to climb the success ladder.

When we become fearless again like our true-selves, it helps us tremendously and every body else, with whom we meet.