Compliment without Complaint

Whenever you want to compliment someone, do it so by heart. Never compliment to punish them, complain against them or to discipline them. Compliment with pure intention of praising their qualities or behavior. We see people compliment at the start of the conversation to criticize them in the middle and end the conversation with another compliment. These people think that they did a good job, not to bluntly hurt the other person, but rather conveyed their message across. This type of behavior is usually seen at offices and sometimes at homes with their spouses and kids.

Compliment gives encouragement to the other person to grow to their potential. When we love and respect the other person, compliment naturally follows to elevate their good qualities. Sometimes, compliment will bring the talent that the person has, to his own attention. They will be surprised that they don’t even know that they possess this talent, but, using compliment, we can let the person know and harness himself. When we love, we forgive their mistakes or even ignore them in the first place.

Overdoing & Misuse
Can compliments be overdone? Yes, when your intention is to get things done for yourself, but you need help from the other person, people misuse the weapon of compliment. They hone this technique powerfully. Some of the signs you can observe whether people trying to take advantage of this technique is to closely observe their intentions. They include words like “you have infinite potential, why do you waste? Do whatever I am suggesting; you will see rewards for yourself”. This is typical maneuvering the other person. If the intention is really to help the other person, they would say “I see infinite potential in you in this area, why don’t you pursue it further and help yourself achieving your goals and ultimately be useful to everybody?”

How is this problem cultivated?
I have seen numerous instances that people only praise the next guy, if they want something to get done by that person. We were bombarded with this stuff since our childhood. Our parents say, I will give you a choco or cookie or whatever; IF; and only IF you DO this; otherwise I am afraid, I will eat this etc. This might have worked for sometime to get the things done, but eventually, we are programming the kids with this kind of attitude, which is very difficult to change at teenage or beyond.

How can we eradicate?
The solution to this vicious cycle of passing it from generation to generation is to halt at this point of time in our lives and say, okay, I will only use this powerful technique with true intention of really praising and encouraging other people. See, for most of the things, we are just a decision away. Once we take decision, the implementation part will be easier and simpler.

This is my true intention to see all people using compliment just for one purpose and that is for complimenting.